Monday, 13 August 2012
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Would You Ever Say This? Why Not?
A number of ladies I know are pregnant. I often think about the joy of bringing a new child into the world, and although I don't judge girls or women who decide for whatever reason to have an abortion, I do condemn those who downplay the seriousness of aborting a child, and those "medical professionals" who profit from performing abortions. Many condemn those "radicals" who are pro-life, not pro-choice. Never mind what the expected child's father wants, either. Who are we to tell a woman what to do with her body?
One argument we often hear is that it is not really a baby, it is "just a mass of tissue", kind of like cancer is a mass of tissue. So you are not killing a child, you are just dealing with an unwelcome medical condition. After all, being pregnant, especially if you actually have the child, and then let's say you keep the baby, and raise it, will change your body, and your life, forever. If you offer that child up for adoption, you further have to wonder what is happening to that child, and if it is okay and having a good life, if you have any human feelings at all. It (He or she) may even show up later on, and intrude into the life you have led since giving birth.
When the pregnancy is one that is wanted, and the child is wanted, though, there is no doubt that it is a baby in there. When a woman miscarries, a funeral is sometimes even held for the little one, although not usually. If a person causes a woman to miscarry, they are often charged with causing the death of the unborn child.I was born to a woman in prison for writing bad checks. I was adopted by good people who had already adopted my (half-) brother, and later adopted my adoptive sister. They also provided foster care to about a dozen boys over they years, and treated all children as their own. I realize not everyone who is adopted or taken in by foster parents is as lucky as I was. I understand it's a rough world, and some live in homes that are less than perfect, even downright bad. I would rather grow up in a rough home than never have the chance to live at all, though.
So, try to imagine saying to a woman who is pregnant, "You appear to have a mass of tissue in your abdomen. Are you going to have it scraped from inside you so that you can return to a normal life?"
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Comments (86)
Great post. I agree with everything you said.
i know women who've had abortions. i would never say to them that what they did was wrong or that they murdered a child. however, the pain they've suffered since the decision taken is unbelievable and i feel for them.
but for what it's worth, i don't believe that the baby is a lump of tissue...i was born premature at an age where many abortions are still performed...doctors worked around the clock to save me. so ironic. anyways i am a person, and i was a person when i was born. but that's just my viewpoint.
@somewhatabstractelf:; - I
was adopted, by a family who had previously adopted my (half-) brother
and later an adoptive sister, and fostered about a dozen others. Not
all of us are so lucky::I was adopted, by a family who had previously adopted my (half-) brother and later an adoptive sister, and fostered about a dozen others. Not all of us are so lucky::
@mrsclark11 - Thank you!
@lonelywanderer2 - that's really a cool story though.
haha, I liked the last sentence. I see it that way too. I don't know what I would do if I got raped ad pregnant that way...I would proabaly be afraid that I can't really love the child. Probabaly I'd offer it to adption, but the pregancy itself could be horrible too. If I got pregant because of an 'accident' or my own neglegtance, I'd get it. I think I can pretty much control if I get pregnat or not. I know I would love it and smack everyone in the face who told me to kill my baby for my carreer or somethig. anyway I think it shouldn't be downplayed either...we have to respect the right to live, if we don't want to see ourselves as basically worthless cell-systems too.
wonderful i always love your words and topics
I agree with your post. I don't believe in abortion myself, but when my daughter was raped and got pregnant, she didn't wanna have the baby at all. So, hard decisions were made and I let her make her own decisions. She had the abortion and even though she felt guilty, she also felt free of a huge responsibility and the reminder of what happened to her. If it were to happen to me, I am not sure what I'd do.
My mum always says "When two people who are trying to get pregnant, especially those who have a hard time, finally succeed, that baby is a baby as soon as they find out about it. Isn't it funny that when a baby is wanted it's a precious human life but when it's an unwanted pregnancy all of a sudden it's a 'lump of cells'?"
I totally agree with her and I agree with you, too (but you already knew that).
@boricua_chic_2008 - That is a perfect example of why I don't judge a girl/woman who faces a hard decision. Especially in cases of rape or when a woman's physical health or life would be threatened by carrying the baby full-term. I am totally proud of your daughter's strength, in dealing with what what happened to her, and yours in supporting her through hard times.
@lonelywanderer2 - Thank you sweetheart! It was definitely a hard decision to make.
Before my wife & I were married, she got pregnant. We went to the Doctor and he subscribed abortion. She had the abortion. Although we know we've been forgiven, we've never forgotten about the child. It's something we've never fully gotten over.
i really like this post.
although, i am pro-choice.
i understand what you'are saying about instead of abortion, trying alternate routes such as adoption..or just keeping the "unwanted" child.
but okay--another nugget to think about...
what about all of the kids that are already in foster homes and are adopted and through that whole process are molested, beaten, and even in some cases killed?
and what about the children that are kept and their own parents are neglectful of them? maybe addicts or alcoholics and put in situations they don't deserve to be in? and maybe also beaten by and eventually killed by their "parents"?
i miiight watch too much nancy grace, buuut in situations like that, i don't see why the mothers wouldn't have an abortion. babies, children, teenagers..hell, adults for that matter, should never be subject that kindof treatment.
and defff the rape situation. if the victim doesn't want the child, who is anyone to say she has to keep it?
i don't know..just thoughts.
@weak__and_powerless - I understand it's a rough world, and some live in homes that are less than perfect, even downright bad. I would rather grow up in a rough home than never have the chance to live at all, though.
I was born to a woman in prison for writing bad checks. I was adopted by good people who had already adopted my (half-) brother, and later adopted my adoptive sister. They also provided foster care to about a dozen boys over they years, and treated all children as their own.
@weak__and_powerless - Don't bad things happen to people regardless, though? I mean, if you're going to go down that road, you may as well ask, What's the point of having children at all?
I have a son; I know he might get raped. He might get injured playing sports. He might even die. Obviously I'm going to do everything in my power to prevent that, but at the end of the day, even kids born in ideal circumstances can still end up hurt. I just can't see it as a sufficient argument to deny them the right to make something of their lives, no matter their beginnings... you know?
My husband's parents were drug addicts and alcoholics; if anyone's situation was "ideal" for ending a pregnancy, it would be theirs. Yet here we are, 27 years later, with a baby of our own; who can argue he didn't have the right to this life?
Why hate on the medical professionals? Someone's got to do their job.
Everyone here seem's to think abortion is not ok? And yes you had a happy ending to your adoption but the world is huge and many including myself, lived in foster care my whole life.
People just dont run out and adopt kids excuse me, and when you live in foster care? You are no more than a number and a welfare check alot of the times.(Not Always) because i have had good foster parents. But I have had some that were not too.
So because a kid is alive and shoved around for years its better?
It does not always mean a kid has had a decent life. Our Mothers that give us away because they want to curb their guilt, does not mean it is always best for the child.
I believe every women has a choice and to be honest i actually admire a women that is capible of making a choice specially when it comes to making the choice of aborting. I mean yeah in a way its wrong to not give a child the chance to live ,but i think i would much rather not give birth to a child knowing that I won't be able to give him/her the life I would like for them I think no matter what all of us women have the choice and should never be judged by anyone many have their reasons for aborting I dont believe in supporting abortion or not supporting it i believe its just a choice we women need to learn to make in certain situations thats what i believe.
@weak__and_powerless - And what about all those children given up who grew up just as happy as anyone else? What about all those children who made a infertile couple happy beyond their wildest dreams?
@winscratchers - I'm so sorry for your hardships. It is sad that there are children growing up without a parent to love them. Would you rather have been aborted? I wonder how many children who have been given up are glad to be alive despite the hardships they have endured. I mean the odds of anyone of us having life is infinitesimal. That one sperm, that one egg. And that one chance.
great post, I agree with you, there's always adoption! There are loads of people who would love to adopt a kid.
I don't like to get into this too deeply, but I'm not into abortion. I believe that life begins at conception.
I don't believe in blowing up abortion clinics and stuff like that either. I'm not into the death penalty or euthanasia.
I'm into life, I guess.
So, how's it going?
During our time at Fort Benning, my husband dealt with the victims of abortion clinics coming back from Atlanta. They were mostly daughters of Military personnel who had no where to go after their botched legal abortion. Not once did these young ladies (who were hemorrhaging to death) come to the ER with the father of the aborted child. It was almost always the mother who came w/ them. Sometimes their Dad would be there too, but rarely.
He still gets so angry when he hears young men proudly spout the pro-choice line. It can be a very convenient position to take for a self serving young man.
@SamsPeeps - Life is good. Just got a promotion at work, started in the new position today. How are you doing? Still in Wisconsin? @bakersdozen2 - Convenient, indeed. I'm glad for those your husband was able to help some.
I have yet to see any reason why murder is a valid decision. If one would die either way, then I see no reason why they *both* should die. But, any other reason I am given, finances, "I'm not ready!" (Wah! Cry me a river), what if it is retarded, what if it is the result of rape, NONE of those are valid reasons to murder a person. Period. The whole ridiculous question of when does life begin is just a way to put smoke in the mirror. Obviously, it began when the sperm met the egg and the DNA code was written. How people who do not even believe in a soul, and therefor believe that all we are is assembled DNA, could turn around and say they can't figure out when life begins is really silly to me.
This is a great post, and I agree completely with everything you have said. I couldn't have said it better myself!