I have been thinking about committing suicide for quite some time now.

My wife is with another man, with whom she has been having an affair for a while. At age 50, I am now living alone, with only my dog for companionship, after many years with the love of my life. I am in a city where I don’t have any family or friends, or even know anybody. My son and daughter are both grown and don’t need me nearly as much as they used to, if at all.

I have very little money, and that was provided by somebody else. I cannot find a job. I had one very briefly, but it didn’t last, and unemployment is very high here.

I have never been through such hard times in my life. Some days I am so depressed and discouraged, I can hardly get out of bed. A lot of the time, I feel unloved and unwanted, and even feel I am nothing but a burden to others. I think maybe it would be better if I wasn’t around at all. Being dead must be easier than living the way I do now. So I thought, it’s time to finally do it.

It’s time to write a post about suicide. I don’t believe I will ever commit suicide, though. I’ve been slightly acquainted with someone who committed suicide, and saw the effects on those who cared about him. When a person kills himself or herself, family and friends are devastated. They blame themselves and wonder what they could have done that might have prevented it. I think everything I’m going through right now has given me more insight into how people get that desperate, that they feel killing themselves is their best or only way to escape their troubles. I’ve thought about suicide a lot, not with the serious intent of killing myself, but wondering why people do it. I have talked with people who were wanting to self-harm or commit suicide, and encouraged them to find reasons to keep living.

To anyone who is seriously thinking about ending their own life, I would say this. I get that life is hard sometimes, more now than ever. But just like happy feelings and good times, sadness and bad times also pass. There is great beauty in this world that you have yet to see.There are plenty of great times still ahead, but only if you stay around to experience them. You are an amazing, wonderful person, capable of helping others, and you may be the main reason someone else feels life is worth living. I know that you enrich my life just by sharing your hopes and dreams, your joy and sorrow with me. Let’s keep sharing this wonderful adventure that is life as long as we can.