This is dedicated to a friend of mine, the_loveliest_tragedy, who wrote an entry about
The Influence of Men on Woman..  That post inspired this response post.

For surely either sex would be much worse off in this world without the other.  Let's look at how life was for primitive humans, when we first began to live together in small tribes, a primitive form of Society as we now know it.

Men are most often the stronger individuals, physically, of humankind.  This means they are needed to hunt for large animals to provide much-needed protein which will allow the children of the tribe to grow up strong and healthy.  They use that strength, as well as cunning, to protect their tribe from animals and from other tribes that would harm them and steal their property or land.  They also are the ones who teach the young boys the skills they will need when they reach manhood.

However, men are only free to do these things because they have women who, traditionally, take care of the home, and gather fruits, vegetables, nuts and greens from plants, which often make up a large part of their diet, providing essential nutrients, especially when game is scarce or elusive.  Also, women give birth to and take care of the children while men are out hunting or scouting for enemies.  Think of men (if able to produce children through whatever means, without women being involved) trying to raise even boys, much less girls, without the stabilizing influence of women.  Men encourage children to take risks and explore the wider world without being too afraid.  The women's greatest strength is of a different sort, emotional strength, and kicks in when all is NOT well, or their family is threatened not only by human or animal enemies, but also when they are threatened by forces such as sickness or injury.  The men teach the children to be brave in the face of danger, and even when sick or injured.  Women remind the children that there are very real reasons to be afraid, encouraging caution.  They also tend to their men and children when they ARE sick or injured, so that illness and injuries might be healed.

Thank goodness men and women have each other; may it ever be so.

    In my time on Xanga, I have met so many girls, or adult women, who are absolutely beautiful, amazingly creative and intelligent, and seem to  love people and life in general.  Yet they post about how they feel ugly, stupid, or like total failures. This probably is just as common in men, but I as a heterosexual man notice it more in females.  They say they can't find anyone that truly loves them.  Why is this?  I know we are all subject to insecurity & Depression.  I go through it myself, quite often.  I wish I had some magical words of wisdom here, but I don't.  How is it that beautiful, intelligent people who know they are very popular still don't believe that they are worthy of being loved by others?
     One problem that seems related to Insecurity and Depression is Anorexia, which is often accompanied by its evil sister Bulimia.  Anorexics always feel they are fat and need to lose weight, eating as little as possible, and often obsessed  with and compelled to exercise.  Bulimics will occasionally binge on food, but then make themselves throw up, and/or abuse laxatives to "cleanse" their bodies of the hated calories.  Some run "Thinspo or Thinspiration" sites, where they post pictures of thin, sometimes "scary skinny" girls.  I do not encourage anyone to do anything unhealthy, nor condone that being done.  Having said that, I do NOT think Thinspo or Thinspiration sites should be banned, any more than those who post about wanting to cut, abuse drugs or alcohol, or commit other acts of self-injury.  Here's why:  It is a known fact that those suffering from Depression, including those with eating disorders of all kinds, have low self-esteem.  Not only do prople with these problems already feel isolated, they sometimes purposely isolate themselves, especially when they feel those around them are judging them.  I feel banning their contact through the internet would only serve to further isolate them, and not let them reach out in those times when they are scared of harming themselves, and need friends the most.  No person should be defined by an addiction or an illness, including eating disorders.  They have hopes and dreams just like the rest of us!

I have had friends pulse that they wanted to cut or overdose.  I let them know I was here for them.  We chatted about everything, or just made small talk, and they seemed to feel better.  When I criticized myself for doing most of the talking, one friend said, "Who cares?  I'm not cutting myself right now".

Please make sure you tell the people in your life how much you love them, and praise them for all of their wonderful qualities.  Let them know you want them to be happy and healthy, but that they can ALWAYS come to you, and you will talk with them honestly, and listen to them without judging.

If You Ever Are Truly In Crisis and Need Me...

To all of my friends and subscribers, I LOVE YOU!!!  You lift my spirits when I am down, by sharing your thoughts and feelings, by telling me stories, and with your photos and artwork!  THANK YOU!!! 

Should Alternative Family Structures Be Legally Recognized?

Perfectly Fine Versus Slutty

What do Love and Marriage, and Life for that matter, have in common with a movie?  Let me explain it.

My wife and I went to see "The Amazing Spiderman" at the theater.  I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more.  There was adventure, terror, horror, romance, comedy, suspense and tragedy.  Good and evil. 

It was excellent, but the point of my post is this:  At the "end" the screen went dark.  Almost everybody left, but I never leave until the screen goes to white.  I told my wife, it's just like our relationship.  If you leave when you see only darkness and think that it's over, you might miss something great that is yet to come.  Sure enough, there was more.  Most people only think they know how that movie ended, and have no idea of the events yet to come.

So never give up.  There will be bad times, but there will be many good times also.  It's a wild adventure, this life we live.

This is a great story, but it is NOT a miracle.  The teen used good judgement, making a snow cave to keep from freezing and drinking from a nearby stream, which kept him alive for two days until he was found.  He also positioned himself along a snowmobile trail where he knew someone was likely to find him.  The person who found him knew there was a missing teen in the area, and kept his eyes open.