My father-in-law came over and took me out to look for job applications and do some shopping. I got a couple of job apps, and ought some things I needed. Afterward he treated me to dinner at Applebee's. Our food was good and when we were about ready to leave another group of customers came in and were being seated. Our waitress greeted them, and gave one of the young ladies a hug. I'm sure they must have been friends.

I told the waitress I was going to complain about her. When she asked why, I said, "I didn't get any hugs!!!"

She got kind of flustered, then said, "I'll hug you!!!" and we did kind of a half-hug.

When we got outside, I told my father-in-law, "I was mostly just teasing her, but that was kind of nice. That was the first physical contact I've had with another human being (other than shaking hands) in a month!!!"

The job I recently started did not work out. I am not entirely surprised, as it was a totally different type of job than I am used to, and good at. The job was doing odd jobs in a warehouse, as well as loading semi trailers when needed. If I had stayed, I would probably have ended up in production, or packing. They want people who are fast workers, and I am the first to admit I am not a real fast worker.

What I am good at, and enjoy, is dealing with people. Customer service. My favorite jobs since leaving the Security Police job I held for most of my adult life have been as a cashier, taking reservations for a resort by phone and running children's rides at an amusement park.

I am trying to look on the bright side. I have 9 days' pay coming to me that I did not have coming to me before. I will find a job eventually, and probably one I like better, and maybe even one that pays more. I will also get past these rough personal times. Intellectually, I know that.

I have to admit, though, I am feeling a bit discouraged, in addition to the loneliness and sadness I have already been feeling. It's hard to fight the dark thoughts that I am a burden to everybody, and that maybe it would be better for everybody if I wasn't around at all.

I hope you are feeling well today. I'm basically doing well, myself. That said, although I am not normally a churchgoer I stopped in at a church this morning, thinking it might be good to be around people, but the emotional environment was too much. I had to leave. I went and did laundry instead. Talking to a few people, including a little girl, was good for me.
I sometimes almost break down crying at work, or just random times ad places when the thoughts and feelings overwhelm me. Church multiplied that many times.

I have actually been meaning to do this post for a while now, but it seems very appropriate given some things that are going on now.

Being frugal, to a degree, is a good thing. More and more, though, a lot of people are going to great lengths to get things while paying a fraction of what they are worth. They are all about getting a great bargain. The ultimate is if they can get something at no cost to themselves. Extreme couponing is a big thing right now. I have seen a show which said that people's expectation of always getting a deep discount is hurting retail business, and our economy as a whole is suffering.

I worked n the 2012 tourist season at a resort that included a large amusement park with water attractions and "dry rides", meaning go karts and other rides, and also offered games customers could play and sold food and beverages.

The owners owned or controlled a number of hotels. Anyone who stayed at those got access to the amusement park and waterpark facilities included. A one-night stay included two days use of the facilities. People not staying at those places could also come, and it was pretty easy to get "free" basic passes which included access to the waterpark. There was a fairly small charge to upgrade to a pass that gave access to the go karts and most other rides. A few extreme rides were available for a separate charge.

For customers not staying at the resort, during the season, from Memorial Day Weekend to Labor Day, there was a $10 charge for parking.

Many people got FURIOUS at the idea that they had to pay to park. I saw a number of people come in with FREE passes to the waterpark valued at over $100, who cursed and left without going to the waterpark, saying it was "bullshit" that they should have to pay to park. Many of those who did use their free passes did not upgrade their passes, brought their own food which they went to their car to eat, and spent no money the entire day.

Let me tell you a secret. There is NO SUCH THING as FREE STUFF!!! When you drive to MacDonald's, or any other restaurant, the cost of parking in their parking lot is figured in to the price of your food. Anything that is given at no charge to you still costs everybody else that pays to eat there. Even promotional items that are given away are not free. They are a business expense, and their purpose is to get more people to do business with that company, and bring in more profit.

Xanga's basic service has been free as long as I have been around here. I have seen through the years where several people who had "basic" Xanga thought "PREMIUM" should be free. I see there is talk that Xanga may go under, or need to start charging people to use it. I have been paying for PREMIUM for several years. People are furious, though, at the thought that they should be asked to pay, and many are saying they will go elsewhere instead. I think that is a shame. Personally, I have not seen another online site that achieved the sense of community Xanga has. I use facebook regularly, but I don't get anything approaching the level of traffic and interaction I get on Xanga. I also have a couple of other sites I rarely use, because traffic and comments are pretty much non-existent.

Please send me a private message with a link to your facebook. I will add you, unless of course you have been someone who has made hateful, disrespectful comments to me or to my Xanga friends on a regular basis. If Xanga shuts down, please know I will remember our time together here fondly. So far I have not seen another online community that is as personal as Xanga.

I was adopted as a child, so the only blood relative I know is my brother; Half-brother, actually. The couple who had adopted my older brother were asked if they wanted me also. They jumped at the chance. I see shows  about adults looking for their "real" family and I can identify with them. While growing up, I too often had the feeling of not belonging, not only at home but anywhere. I always feel I am on the edge of most groups I am involved in, a visitor, an outsider. It is rare to feel like I truly belong. But I don't feel the burning need to find my biological parents, as some people do. The people who raised me are my parents. They are the ones who took care of me, tried to teach me right from wrong, and encouraged me to be the best I can. I know the name of my biological mother and wish her well, but I can't give her either credit or blame for who or what I am. She was in prison when I was born (bad checks). If abortion had been legal, I might not even have been born. I do give her credit for giving me up so I could be raised in a good home with a loving family. My adoptive parents treated all children as if they were their own. They had 2 adopted sons and 1 adopted daughter. They also took in a dozen foster sons over the years.

I interviewed today for a job at a company that makes, packages and ships snack foods. I had orientation this afternoon and start work at 8 AM. Still waiting on a background check, but that will most likely come out fine.

(CBS News) WASHINGTON - There were new questions Saturday night concerning if anyone in the White House was aware of the IRS' targeting of conservative groups.

Inspector General Russell George said he informed a deputy at the Treasury Department in June of 2012 about the probe into the IRS.

The Treasury Department confirmed the timeline but said they did not know the details of the investigation until last week.

It's the first evidence that someone within the Obama administration knew about the practice during the presidential campaign.

It is unknown whether anyone in the White House was told of the federal investigation.

Republican Congressman Aaron Schock serves on the House Ways and Means Committee, which oversees the IRS.

"We don't have any reason to believe at this point that it was anybody outside the IRS directing them to do this," said Schock. "Obviously there's been claims that the White House might have been involved and other groups. I don't have any reason to believe that."

Read the entire article and watch the video here: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18563_162-57585182/evidence-emerges-that-obama-administration-official-knew-of-irs-targeting-during-2012-campaign/

As some of you know, I spent quite a few years working as a Security Police Officer on an Air National Guard training base, also known as a Combat Readiness Training Center, or CRTC. The base was owned and operated by the State, but both State and Federal Government agencies played their part. Enter bureaucracy at its finest.

Projects to be completed and issues to be resolved often meant the creation of committees which would study the subject at hand and form ideas and proposals on how to deal with it. That, of course, meant meetings. I hate meetings, and avoid them when possible, although some are necessary and important.

Eventually, at our base, we saw an item in the news letter voicing concern that, due to the large number of committees, so many meetings were being held that it was interfering with day-to-day business. I half-jokingly said they would probably form a committee to meet and study how to reduce the number of committees, and thus reduce the number of meetings being held.

They did exactly that.

I am proud to be an American, but I believe our "leaders" have lost touch with what most citizens want America to be like.  In these strange times, when more and more control is being exercised over every aspect of our lives, it sometimes seems futile to speak out, and many are tempted to just tune out.  Instead, we need to become MORE involved, to educate ourselves about what our founding fathers believed in,  and let the politicians know that we must return to a more common sense way of doing things.  As private citizens, we know we can not spend more than we take in.  Government agencies tend to spend without thinking how to pay for what they do.  After all, it is not their money.  Let them know WE are their bosses, not the other way around.  To do that we need to have faith, hope and charity.

I have faith, in the basic goodness of most people.

I have hope, because every breath we take is a chance to start over again, and improve ourselves, even though I may not know where the next money is coming from.

I believe in charity, because who am I to not help someone in need?  I often help people, by giving money when they are shorthanded, and many other random acts of kindness.  I myself have been helped by friends, family and even strangers.  Charity is the voluntary act of helping others.  Government taking more and more of our money, to redistribute it as THEY see fit, is not charity.  It may begin with good intentions, but inevitably invites corruption in our system, as much of the money is funneled to friends of the politicians, and special interest groups.