I often think about the joy of bringing a new child into the world, but I realize pregnancy is not thought always thought of as a blessing, and sometimes the decision is made that it would be better if the pregnancy is terminated. Abortion is currently legal in the United States. Although I don’t judge girls or women who decide for whatever reason to have an abortion, I do condemn those who downplay the seriousness of aborting a child, and those “medical professionals” who profit from performing abortions. Many condemn those “radicals” who are pro-life, not pro-choice. Never mind what the expected child’s father wants, either. Who are we to tell a woman what to do with her body?

One argument we often hear is that it is not really a baby, it is “just a mass of tissue”, kind of like cancer is a mass of tissue. So you are not killing a child, you are just dealing with an unwelcome medical condition. After all, being pregnant, especially if you actually have the child, and then let’s say you keep the baby, and raise it, will change your body, and your life, forever. If you offer that child up for adoption, you further have to wonder what is happening to that child, and if it is okay and having a good life, if you have any human feelings at all. It (He or she) may even show up later on, and intrude into the life you have led since giving birth.

When the pregnancy is one that is wanted, and the child is wanted, though, there is no doubt that it is a baby in there. When a woman miscarries, a funeral is sometimes even held for the little one, although not usually.  If a person causes a woman to miscarry, they are often charged with causing the death of the unborn child.

I was born to a woman in prison for writing bad checks. I was adopted by good people who had already adopted my (half-) brother, and later adopted my adoptive sister. They also provided foster care to about a dozen boys over they years, and treated all children as their own. I realize not everyone who is adopted or taken in by foster parents is as lucky as I was. I understand it’s a rough world, and some live in homes that are less than perfect, even downright bad. I would rather grow up in a rough home than never have the chance to live at all, though. So, try to imagine saying to a woman who is pregnant, “You appear to have a mass of tissue in your abdomen. Are you going to have it scraped from inside you so that you can return to a normal life?”

A friend posted that someone he knew stated they love God but not Man’s interpretation of God. This brought about a discussion of whether a person can receive a direct revelation from God, and whether God can reveal his true nature to a human being. I said no human being can ever know the answers to those questions, for the following reasons:

No human being can ever know if a “revelation from God” to a human being is being accurately understood or relayed, because the person who says they received said revelation has to interpret it using his or her human brain.

No human can ever say with 100% certainty that God has revealed His true nature, for that same reason. Even the determination that the event was an interaction with God, or that a given entity is God, is a human interpretation of what happened. Everything we see, hear, feel and think is filtered through the human brain.

I challenge anyone to tell me they understand the true nature of God, or of anything for that matter, without involving human interpretation.

Right now many people are hotly debating the Not Guilty verdict in the George Zimmerman trial. Obviously some believe the verdict was just, some don’t. The thing is, there only two people involved in the confrontation which led to the death of young Trayvon Martin. Nobody else can know beyond a shadow of a doubt what happened, and for sure nobody can see into the hearts and minds of Zimmerman and Martin. There is a very good chance each thought he was the one in danger.

I believe Trayvon Martin attacked George Zimmerman. Zimmerman felt he was in danger of being caused great bodily harm or death and had only seconds to make the decision whether to use deadly force to stop his attacker. I believe Zimmerman will spend the rest of his life questioning his actions on that day.

I have, thankfully, never been in a situation that I thought called for use of deadly force, but I have been in confrontations where someone was threatening to harm me or others. I used the minimum force necessary to control the situation, and never seriously hurt anyone. In those cases where this was in the line of duty, I was told I had handled things correctly. I know some people thought I should have used more force than I did. I still replay those scenes in my head sometimes, wondering if I did the right thing.

Woman: Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.

Friend: Oh my God, are you doing anything for it?

Woman: Yeah; I’m sniffing a lot of black pepper!

There is often a heated argument between those who believe in the THEORY of EVOLUTION, the idea that life began as a series of chemical reactions and evolved as mutations which gave an organism an advantage toward survival resulted in new species,  versus the THEORY of INTELLIGENT DESIGN, the idea that a Supreme or Divine Being, or more than one (gods and/or goddesses) created Earth and all of the creatures upon it, much as they exist today.

I do not claim to be an expert, but I have studied and pondered both theories, as well as others, and have come to believe the two ideas are not at all incompatible, they are just different ways of explaining how the universe, and life on Earth, developed.  Many scientists believe there MUST be a supreme being behind life, yet they also believe in evolution.

I ask this:

What could be more miraculous than for a supreme being  to start a sequence of events that would create a planet, Earth, with just the right physical environment to develop so that it could support life, which would then evolve from simple one-celled plants or animals into the wondrous diversity of life we have here on Earth?

I am confident that if we continue to explore, we will find even more wonders, on Earth and on other planets.

I want to thank my family and friends for all their love, support and friendship. I will be okay, and I know that. My post yesterday really was meant to pour out the negative thoughts like you air out a room full of toxic gas or smoke, to let others who are hurting know that they are not alone, and to encourage people might be seriously considering suicide to think about all the reasons to go on living. I have talked to more than one person who was thinking of self-harm such as cutting or overdosing, and have been told a time or two that talking with me kept them from doing so.

I have been thinking about committing suicide for quite some time now.

My wife is with another man, with whom she has been having an affair for a while. At age 50, I am now living alone, with only my dog for companionship, after many years with the love of my life. I am in a city where I don’t have any family or friends, or even know anybody. My son and daughter are both grown and don’t need me nearly as much as they used to, if at all.

I have very little money, and that was provided by somebody else. I cannot find a job. I had one very briefly, but it didn’t last, and unemployment is very high here.

I have never been through such hard times in my life. Some days I am so depressed and discouraged, I can hardly get out of bed. A lot of the time, I feel unloved and unwanted, and even feel I am nothing but a burden to others. I think maybe it would be better if I wasn’t around at all. Being dead must be easier than living the way I do now. So I thought, it’s time to finally do it.

It’s time to write a post about suicide. I don’t believe I will ever commit suicide, though. I’ve been slightly acquainted with someone who committed suicide, and saw the effects on those who cared about him. When a person kills himself or herself, family and friends are devastated. They blame themselves and wonder what they could have done that might have prevented it. I think everything I’m going through right now has given me more insight into how people get that desperate, that they feel killing themselves is their best or only way to escape their troubles. I’ve thought about suicide a lot, not with the serious intent of killing myself, but wondering why people do it. I have talked with people who were wanting to self-harm or commit suicide, and encouraged them to find reasons to keep living.

To anyone who is seriously thinking about ending their own life, I would say this. I get that life is hard sometimes, more now than ever. But just like happy feelings and good times, sadness and bad times also pass. There is great beauty in this world that you have yet to see.There are plenty of great times still ahead, but only if you stay around to experience them. You are an amazing, wonderful person, capable of helping others, and you may be the main reason someone else feels life is worth living. I know that you enrich my life just by sharing your hopes and dreams, your joy and sorrow with me. Let’s keep sharing this wonderful adventure that is life as long as we can.

I occasionally let my Xanga friends know that I love them, and care about them, whether or not I personally know them.  I have been told a couple of times that my expressions of love are “random”, and I guess sometimes they are.  This is sometimes met with skepticism, or even hostility.  “How could you love so many people, especially if you don’t even know them?”

The answer is that I am open to getting to know my Xanga friends as well as they want.  I actually don’t differentiate between internet friends and friends “In Real Life, or IRL”  I consider you all my friends.  When I see a person is particularly depressed or hurting, or in need of a friend that cares,  I let them know I am open to listening, and that I honestly do care that they are hurting, and want them to feel better. 

People blog about their pain, and I read that, and want them to know I do care.  Once I have started to care about you, I can’t turn that off, even if you don’t believe I care, or for whatever reason, my caring makes you uncomfortable.

You are a person, and as such, you deserve to be loved, and to know somebody cares.

Jesus Christ was a Jew. Most people know that much. I’m not sure that he intended to have his followers split from Judaism and start a new religion called Christianity. I believe he simply wanted to teach his fellow Jews, and anyone else who would listen, to be more devout in their worship of God. At the time when Jesus lived, many in that part of the world were trying to decide what they believed about God, and how best to live as God-fearing people.

Myself, I don’t believe he was literally, physically the Son of God. I believe Christ lived, and that he was a great philosopher & religious leader. He taught many valuable principles of how mankind could live in peace with others. I personally don’t believe in the Immaculate Conception. I believe he was purely a human being. This takes nothing away from the influence he had on Mankind at all.

I’m not sure Jesus Christ himself believed he was “literally”, physically the Son of God. He does refer to God as the Father of all Mankind. Just as when Europeans came to America, they referred to the king as “The Great White Father” when dealing with the natives. When saying the Lord’s Prayer, Christians say “Our father, who art in Heaven”, and yet they are not saying God is actually their father. All, or at least a vast majority, would tell you they have an actual human man who fathered them.

In recent years, I have found I have very little desire for unnecessary material possessions. Not that I’m immune to temptation, but I actually find myself being a little sick and ashamed of myself when I see something that looks cool, but which I don’t need, and find myself thinking, “I wish I had that”.

What makes me feel good is knowing people who are important to me love me and think about me. My daughter told me she saw a wolf mug she wanted to get me as a gift for Father’s Day, but it cost $40. She and her boyfriend recently moved into a new apartment, and she is not working right now. I told her that the fact she was thinking about me truly meant more to me than owning the item ever could. I had told her the same thing a while back, when she saw a wolf-themed table for sale, and wanted to buy it, but couldn’t.

I told her what she could do next time is take a picture of the item and send it to me with a message saying, “Hey, I saw this and thought of you.”, then spend the money on something she really needs. That way, I said, everybody wins.